fire in her eyes
by CrazyJilyShipper
Summary: "You tell her she's cute. She tells you to fuck off. You do. Not until tossing a casual "It's not hard to understand why he called you that". You hear her draw a sharp breath behind you, but you don't turn around. You can't be bothered. Or maybe you're just too scared." james is an asshole. t because i'm paranoid


**A/N Hi! Alright, so I haven't been here for quite a long time, but I'm back. Yay!**

 **So, this story is about James and Lily (obviously), but the James in this story is a bit darker and more of an asshole than in canon and a lot more of an asshole that I imagine him to be, but I just wanted to try something new with him. So keep in mind that I really actually doubt that he was even half bad as the James in this story, and even if he was (he _wasn't_ , but still), he really changed after fifth year. Alright, I'm done rambling, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

You're shining and burning and glowing when you tear through the old halls with your boys, aren't you? You're all so perfectly imperfect and everyone envies you, everyone wants to be you. They all beg and plead for your attention and sometimes, you even give it, until you're bored and someone else, someone new comes begging. You throw winks and grins and cruel, cruel words around like they're confetti, and you don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care, because you get every girl you want, you get everything you want and you feel like a God. You don't care.

You don't care, even when Sirius is a bit too angry or when Remus cries in his bed or when you notice scars on Pete's arms, you don't care when you hex everyone, because you're fucking James Potter and everything should be served on a gold platter for you. Everyone smiles at you because you could ruin their lives with a wave of your hand and no one has ever dared to challenge you or say you're wrong. _No one_. Except her.

* * *

You have seen her around, of course you have, but you have never talked to her properly. The first time you talk is when she punches Sirius in the face for insulting her and you run down from your dormitory when you hear Sirius swear, angry and prepared to beat up someone. And that someone just happens to be her, Lily Evans. You stand there, fists clenched, fuming and red in the face because no one _ever_ dares to do something like that to The Marauders. The first thing you notice is her eyes. She's not pretty, you decide to yourself examining her, with her strange hair and slight acne dusted on her cheekbones, but her eyes are… _something else._ You hate being poetic and shit, but you really can't describe them. There's so much emotion in them, but you're James Potter and a girl's eyes is the last thing you care about and so you put your trademark cocky grin on your face and look down on her and her face is red and you _know_ you're better than her. You let her know that. You call her an idiot, you call her ugly and stupid and a traitor and you expect her to run, to cry, to hide, but she only lifts her head higher and you see fire in her eyes. You walk away from her and you don't turn back, even though you feel her eyes on you.

That becomes a routine for both of you. You see her, you say something obnoxious and stupid as always, she turns to you all angry, you shout, she shouts and then you throw another comment her way and walk away or maybe she says something and goes. And you never turn back.

* * *

She's always hanging out with that greasy git Snape and for some reason, you hate him. You tell everyone you bully him because they are both traitors, because she betrayed her House by befriending him. And when he calls her a mudblood, you're strangely relieved. _Of course_ it's just because she isn't betraying her House anymore.

* * *

You decide you'll get her to shag you by the end of fifth year, just for fun. You've always gotten what you wanted, so why should this time be different? You've done it so many times it's now as natural as breathing to you. You walk to a girl. You slowly look her down, then up. You smirk and say, you words drenched in arrogance "Hey, what's up? I think you're pretty cute." The girl then blushes, says something to you that you don't listen to. The only time you care about her is when you're kissing. And it's not because you think she's smart or brilliant or something, no. You just want to fuck. The next morning you leave her, throw her out like a used, crumbled piece of paper and you never remember her again. You should have known it would be different with _her._

You walk with her after Transfiguration one day. You can see that she's tired and you want to tell her she's ugly, but something, maybe the despair in her eyes, stops you. Instead, you go for a "You're shit at Transfiguration, you know that?" She's silent, she doesn't even lift her eyes. You tell her she's cute. She tells you to fuck off. You do. Not until tossing a casual "It's not hard to understand why he called you that". You hear her draw a sharp breath behind you, but you don't turn around. You can't be bothered. Or maybe you're just too scared.

* * *

She's more and more silent every day, and you start to miss your banters and arguments. Not that you'd ever admit it.

She shows up to class with puffy eyes and a red nose and you can see that she's cried.

Then there comes the day she's not even in the class. You miss her eyes.

* * *

There has been an article about werewolf hunts and Remus stands up from the dinner table and leaves as soon as he reads it. You leave, too, and you don't even know why, because you were a God, but are Gods supposed to feel like you do?

You go to the Astronomy Tower and there she is, sitting on the edge, dangling her long legs off of it and suddenly, you lose it. You run to her, you shout, you pull her down from there, you roar and scream and curse and honestly, what was she _thinking_ , sitting there like that?!

'You could've died!" you scream and she doesn't even look your way, She just gets up and walks towards the door and you feel something ripping inside of you. You don't know why and you don't care, you just don't want her to leave.

"Lily", it's the first time you say her name out loud, and it's terrifying, "Wait"

She turns. She looks at you. And then it happens. Then, she breaks down. Then, she's on the ground, gasping for air, and you don't know what to do. She's all sharp breaths and tears and hysterics and it's ugly and you _don't fucking know what to do_ so you just awkwardly pat her shoulder or something.

Soon, she runs out of tears. She just lays there, and she looks so damn empty. You really, actually don't know what the fuck to do.

You're James Potter and you're known for your stupidity, but this is the stupidest thing you have ever done in your life. You cough. You take a deep breath. And then you it blurt out.

"You have fire in your eyes", you say, and that's so stupid you want to kick yourself.

She looks up to you from where she's still lying on the ground and you can't help but think of summer and adventures and courage when you see her eyes.

"You're an idiot", she replies.

That's how it begins.

* * *

 **A/N So, what did you think? Please leave a comment telling me what you thought, I live for those! Thanks, byeee!**


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